Downward Spiral

Jonathan Merak stood in a shadowy corner, arms folded, dark eyes piercing the air with a look that could kill.  He had that capability, and even the rats knew it.  The braves ones kept a distance of at least ten feet.  The smart ones kept out of his cell entirely.  He stared into the empty hallway, not entirely seeing the dull metal bars of his cell door or the grey concrete floor beyond.  He was lost within the dark depths of his mind.  Some may say plotting and scheming; others say merely remembering freedom.  For though he was perhaps the most feared prisoner within the thick walls of the prison, he had not been there very long.  He had been a very average man, up until things had gone very wrong.

Jonathon Merak walked along the main street in his small country town.  He enjoyed the sun on his skin.  He slowed and smiled as he noticed his favorite blonde haired beauty leave Annie’s Diner and turn down the street towards him.

As she left the dim interior of the restaurant, she looked up and blinked baby blue fawn eyes against the sun that shone off her blonde hair and illuminated her face, making her look angelic.  Her eyes lit up when she saw him.

“Hello Johnny Merak,” she drawled in an accent too thick for northern Kentucky, a reminder of her Alabama background.

“Hello Isabella Alioth,” he said with a smile.  “How ya doin’ today gorgeous?”

“I’m doin just fine, yourself?”

“I’m doin better now.”

She flushed and slipped her hand through the arm he held out to her.

“Might I walk ya home?” Jonathan asked as they began down the street.

They walked through the little town, headed down the road toward Isabella’s.  They talked and laughed, enjoying the sun and the late summer air.

As they approached her driveway, they noticed a car he’d never seen before parked in front of her house.  Bella looked confused momentarily before her eyes lit up.

“I bet it’s my sister,” she cried, “visitin’ us with her brand new baby boy! Oh Johnny I hear he’s just the cutest lil’ thing!”

She kissed his cheek in her excitement and rushed towards the door. Halfway there she remembered her manners, turned and called, “I ‘priciate you walkin’ me home Johnny!”

He called, “anytime,” and smiled, thankful she was too far away to see the redness of his face.

On his way home, there was a lightness in his step.  He whistled a tune like a morning songbird, though the fences were casting long shadows from the sun that slid below the horizon just as he reached his front door.  He went inside and didn’t stop smiling until he crawled into his bed and fell asleep.

Jonathan awoke to a rapid knocking on his door and a furious ringing of his doorbell.  He made his way to the front door and was surprised to see Isabella on his doorstep. Her hair was in disarray but all he noticed was that her eyes were red from crying and one cheek was bright red where she’d so obviously been hit.  He reached out with gentle hesitant fingers, before changing his mind and pulling her close to him, hugging her and holding her to his chest.  She broke down and sobbed into him for a while.  He didn’t ask questions or pry for information; he didn’t say a word.  He just let her cry.

When she quieted he held her away from him and wiped her eyes, being careful where her cheek was still tender.  She opened her mouth but her held up a finger to silence her.  He went inside and grabbed his jacket.  He put it around her shoulders for the night was too cool for her thin nightdress.

He led her outside and she went with him down the road.  He took her under the sweeping branches of a willow tree closer to her house than his own, but still far enough away not to be heard by anyone.  He held her, his arms loosely around her waist, and looked into her trusting blue eyes, his brown ones warm and full of caring.

“What happened Bella?” He brushed a hair behind her ear.

She opened her mouth and once she started talking she could not stop. “My sister’s here with little baby Jason you saw her car did I tell you his name was Jason well it is after his daddy he’s just the cutest little thing the baby that is the daddy well he was thinkin’ the same thing about me he kept looking at me when Marianna wasn’t in the room or even sometimes when she was he has the beadiest little rat eyes and I kept tryin’ to look away but I’d look back and he’d still be looking at me he’d look at me all up and down and he’d wink and it was like I couldn’t get away from those god awful eyes then at dinner I kept feeling his foot touch mine underneath the table and when he moved it up my leg a lil’ I excused myself real quick and since the baby was already asleep I figured I’d just go to bed too and so I did and when I woke up a little while later I saw those rat eyes starin’ at me and I made to scream but he put his hand over my mouth and with his other hand he started to touch me … oh Johnny it was god awful so I bit him right on the hand and I bit him hard and then he got real mad and slapped me with his good hand and at that point both his hands were off of me so I got up and I ran right outta there and right outta my house and I didn’t know where to go Johnny and I ended up at your house and oh …”

Her voice was shaking badly by the time she finished and the tears were running down her face again.  Jonathan pulled her close, rage pulsing through him and yet compassion as well, for the delicate creature in his arms.  He looked at her, wiped away a tear with his thumb but left his hand cupping her face, just looking into her eyes.  He kissed her bruised cheek gently and she only flinched the tiniest bit.

“There,” he murmured, “now it’s all better.”

She said nothing, just bit her lip and looked up at him with eyes that – he could have sworn – looked a little less afraid.

For a moment he forgot his anger, he knew only the compassion in his heart for this little blue-eyed, golden-haired angel.  He would do anything to protect her.

He brought his face closer to hers, until their foreheads were touching.  He felt her stiffen only momentarily and then relax.  The fear left her face for the first time that night.  Jonathan could feel her breath on his lips and it took every ounce of self-restraint not to fill the space between them with a kiss.  But he wouldn’t dare lose that restraint after what she’d just been through.  Yet being so close, feeling her breath, staring into her eyes –

And she leaned forward and kissed him. It was quick, a light touching of their lips and she pulled away again.  But it was enough to give him chills and he pulled her into him and kissed her harder.  This time she didn’t flinch even a tiny bit, she didn’t stiffen.  She kissed him back until they both ran out of breath.

“Please don’t make me go back there,” she whispered as her breathing returned to normal.  The fear was creeping slowly back into her eyes.

He would do anything to protect her.

“I’ll sleep on the sofa,” he told her. “You can stay in my bed, you’ll be perfectly safe.”

And so she slept in his bed and he spent the night wide awake.  He paced, checking on her at least twice every hour, watching her chest rise and fall slowly in her sleep.  Occasionally he would lie down on the couch and stare up at the ceiling, his face a mask as hundreds of malicious thoughts swam through his head.  He must have drifted into a restless sleep at some point.  He awoke to a furious banging that he was afraid would take out his door completely.

“You’d better get your goddamn filthy paws off my daughter!” came a muffled but audible voice from outside.  It was accompanied by a second voice that assured, “We will send you straight to hell you son of a bitch! Open this goddamn door!”

Jonathan was more afraid of what would happen if he didn’t open it than if he did, so slowly he stood up and went to the door.  What happened next seemed to take place in slow motion.  As he opened the door, he heard a noise and turned around.  At the end of the hall he saw Bella standing in the doorway of the bedroom, he eyes wide with terror as she screamed the word, “No!”  As he turned back towards the now open door he caught sight of the two men.  Both red in the face, both holding shotguns, both glaring.  One with piercing blue eyes like his daughter.  One with beady eyes like a rat.  The latter apparently having had too much whiskey in his morning coffee.  There was a small explosion in the barrel of his pointed gun.

Jonathan Merak paced in his cell.  He glared at the floor in front of him as he moved steadily back and forth.  His hands were clenched into fists so tight that his knuckles were white.  The skin on and around them was scarred and they were somewhat misshapen, from having made contact with one too many cement walls.  He ground his teeth without realizing it, his jaw tense. He walked back and forth, reached the wall, turned and went again.  Even when Jonathan paced, seemingly lost deep within his own head, no one dared peer into his cell, not the meanest guard nor the ugliest rat.  The man, who appeared as though without a soul, was happily left alone.

The bullet did not hit Jonathan. It missed its intended target, flew past his right ear, and hit another.  Jonathan watched as Isabella fell to the ground.  As he rushed to her, the loaded guns were lowered, dropped, and the red stain grew on her white nightdress.  He dropped to his knees beside her and took her head into his lap.  Her blue eyes saw for the last time and fluttered shut.  She took a shallow, fluttery breath and life left her body with the last bit of air.

From the corner of his eye Johnny saw Jason kneel down beside him and reach out as though to take her hand.  Without turning his head Johnny growled, “don’t touch her.”

Jason’s hand froze in midair.

“You won’t lay a finger on her ever again.” He turned to stare at Jason, and the look in his eyes, a look that could kill, had Jason on his feet and backing a step away.

Johnny stood up as well, careful to lay his angel’s head gently on the ground.  Anger stronger than any hate, or any love, welled up inside him.  He raised his hand, but froze it in midair as Jason cringed away.  He dropped it.  Then, before Mr. Alioth could react or Jason could flinch again, he snatched a vase off the table and smashed it into Jason’s skull, watching as the rat fell to the ground in a heap.

Mr. Alioth grabbed him and he didn’t struggle.  His rage died down after a while, but his anger and his hate remained in his mind and in his heart.  He never struggled, he always went quietly, glaring.

Jonathan Merak was the most feared man to have passed through that jail.  He never lost his temper again.  He just hated, existing quietly.  His only joys were in knowing his angel was safe in heaven and that he would meet the devil again, when he joined him in hell.